Hedge Fund Up And Cumers

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Earlier this morning, a tipster pointed us in the direction of David Einhorn's Wikipedia entry. It read, "David Einhorn is a Porn Star and President of Greenlight Capital." Initially, we deemed it the work of Erin Callan. But then we realized--this was a compliment. Obviously, it came from one of his fans, not enemies. Unfortunately, the groupie/merry prankster was pretty unimaginative. S/he should've drawn out the joke to say that Einhorn performed his duties under various noms de porn, such as: David BigHorn, David Einschlong, and David YankMeinHorn. And that got us thinking. Why should YankMeinHorn be the only one given porn cred? And since there are so many deserving hedge funds out there, and we have a yuks quotient/day to fulfill, herewith, we present the Top Pornified Hedge Fund Names.


10. ESL --> DSL
9. Sparx Group --> SparXXX Group
8. Eden Rock --> Eatin' Cock
7. Och-Ziff --> Cock-Spliff
6. Soros --> SoreAss
5. Brevan Howard --> Brevan Loves Howard
4. Lone Pine --> Long Pine
3. Ospraie --> CockSpraie
2. Circle T --> Circle Jerk (it's funny because it's true)
1. SAC Capital
Honorary Already-Porned-Out Funds
- Man Group
- Viking
- Maverick
- Citadel
- Horseman Global

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