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Nude Artist Appeals To Wall Street Titans' Raging Narcissism

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Natasha Archdale is a genius. The London-based artist, who charges up to $30,000 per piece, allows her clients, the majority of whom work in the financial industry, to purport masturbatory feelings for loved ones while craftily hiding their true agenda, that being masturbatory feelings for themselves.

Archdale creates nude figures in the likenesses of the wives, girlfriends, pool boys, and one night-stands of the Street's most influential employees. For example, Steve Schwarzman. Schwarzman was recently gifted with a portrait of his wife, Christine. But Crab hands doesn't just sit in his Park Avenue living room gazing up on the image of his stark naked wife. When Crabs sits down to admire the work of art, he's also (mostly) admiring himself-- Archdale's pieces are constructed from, I shit you not, Financial Times articles that mention the Blackstone founder in all his glory. "I have yet to meet someone who does not want a naked picture of their loved ones with text about themselves," a customer of Archdale-- whose clientele is not only the perfect match for this medium because of its inordinate fascination with itself, and large sums of money to spend, but for its inability to tell the difference between a good piece of art and one constructed from Excel spreadsheets-- told Bloomberg. We haven't been in touch with the artist but we're confident that it's merely a matter of time before she drops the pretense and just pitches Schwarz et al on nude renderings of themselves. Not to get you too excited, but we hear someone was on the horn with Archstone this morning, spending the last of his Bear Stearns earnings on just that.
Female Nudes Crafted From Financial Times Lure Bank Barons [Bloomberg]



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