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Seasons Greetings, From Ralph Cioffi

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Oh hell yes, my friends. Oh hell yes. Fuck business cards (unless they belong to egret-lover Sam Israel, whose b-card criminally only sold for $61). A Bear Stearns Christmas card signed by alpha-generator extraordinaire Ralph Cioffi is being auctioned off on eBay. Bidding is up to $26. To put things in perspective, this would set you back 13 shares of BSC, at the time JPM was hilariously going to buy it for $2. Not that we don't want this thing for ourselves, but we sense some stiff competition in Jamie Dimon, whose feelings for Cioffi, instrumental in removing one of the key Jenga pieces from this bitch, and allowing JPM to buy it on the cheap, run deep. He'll likely also be playing dirty when it comes to scoring a signed grav-bong being auctioned by a seller who goes by the name of BigJCaCay. (Typically, these "little pieces of history" have been offered up by third parties, but in a sharp departure from his demonstrated business acumen of late, someone who once held a senior position at the firm has been tearfully parting ways with his most precious possessions. For example, a favorite roach clip is predicted to go for at least a few ten-spots, even half of which BJCC is in no position to be turning down.)

Ralph Cioffi Signed Bear Stearns Hedge Fund Xmas Card