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Someone Hire This Man (Specifically Looking For A Gig In Asset Valuation Management But Will Take What He Can Get)

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Perhaps you've already seen him walking up and down Park these last couple days and are well aware of his plight, but Joshua Persky, the guy wearing a sandwich board proclaiming his education and current career goals ("experienced MIT grad for hire"), needs a job. The non-practicing investment banker, most recently with Houlihan Lokey, has been out of work for the last six months and, not having had any success with head hunters or calling in favors with friends, will be passing out resumes to random midtown passersby during lunch hour all this week.
We spoke with Persky briefly just now and while he did not offer up any references who could speak to the quality of his work (fishy), he did give us his job history (2 years at Houlihan Lokey, 2 years in commercial banking at Fortis Capital, 4 years in business development for a satellite network communications company, a decade or so doing technical writing, a year on the AMEX floor as an assistant options trader), a number (917-650-8700) and e-mail ( where you, potential job-giver, can reach him. Perhaps it's the fact that a grown man is being reduced to working the streets, or that he has a wife and FIVE children to support (who are moving back to her hometown of Nebraska when their lease runs out this month), but this is just depressing the hell out of us, even worse than Sad Kermit (SFW, unless your employer has a problem with a Muppet shooting heroin or blowing Rowlf for money, in which case, quit).

Unemployed Banker Wears 'MIT Graduate for Hire' Sign [WNBC]
Out-of-Work Banker Employs Unusual Job Search Strategy [NYS]


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The bad news is that 600 of the Queen's corgis are being let go. The good news, while it probably comes as little solace to those who will no longer receive birthday chickens, is that 300 or so new ones will be hired in their place. State-backed lender Royal Bank of Scotland is making more than 600 staff redundant as a result of legislation due to come into force at the end of the year, bringing total staff reductions at the bank since its 2008 bailout to around 36,000. RBS, 82 percent owned by the government, said the jobs would go as a result of new UK rules requiring retail financial products such as savings and investment vehicles to be sold by more highly qualified staff and charged a fee. "As a response to this we will be reducing the number of roles by 618 across the UK and creating 351 new roles," an RBS spokesman said on Tuesday. "Having to cut jobs is the most difficult part of our work to rebuild RBS and repay taxpayers for their support. We continue to make efficiencies across our business to deliver greater value toour customers and shareholders," the spokesman added. RBS Job Loss Hits 36,000 [Reuters]

By US government [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Layoffs/Hiring Watch '12: UBS

The Swiss bank is said to be planning a big round of cuts in the investment bank with the aim of saving a bunch of money, which it will then spend on luring in "more promising talent." is embarking on a new round of job cuts within its investment bank, according to people familiar with the matter, as the Swiss bank grapples with a downturn in business that shows few signs of abating and considers a further restructuring of the division. UBS will begin notifying employees Wednesday of a new round of job cuts totaling roughly 400, the people said. Additional job losses that could run into the thousands may quickly follow. According to one of the people, there is a "good probability" that when UBS discloses its third-quarter results next Tuesday, it will make clear which businesses it intends to focus on in the years to come, and which ones it will de-emphasize...This week's jobs cut will be spread roughly evenly across North America, Europe and Asia, one of the people said. They will fall more or less evenly on fixed-income trading, equity trading and corporate finance, although the latter will bear slightly more of the brunt than the former two divisions. While these job cuts are mainly mean to cut costs, they are also part of a plan to cull the worst performers from the investment bank's ranks and create room for it to hire more-promising talent, one of the people said. UBS Plans More Job Cuts [WSJ]

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