Listen, it might seem that during times like these, it can't get any worse than being an expendable analyst, laid off or about to be laid off with at least few months severance and somewhere between half and a whole bonus but you people have no idea how bad it is for your boss's boss's boss. It is fucking bleak. Don't believe me? That's fine. For some perspective on how easy you've got it, let the Times give you a little glimpse into the dark, depressing hell of an existence you could be in right now. Next time you pass your M.D. in the lobby, perhaps as you're being escorted out the building, put yourself in his shoes and realize that:
The woman who married him for his money will soon be divorcing him because he no longer has any. (This is not to say she doesn't feel bad about the dissolution of their marriage. She probably feels really bad about it--she's not going to get anything* from the divorce.)
One of [divorce lawyer Nancy Chemtob's] clients recently confessed that his net worth had decreased to $8 million from more than $20 million, and he thinks that his wife will leave him. He has hidden their fall in fortune by taking on debt to pay for her extravagant clothes and vacations.
"I literally had to sit there and tell him that he had to tell his wife that she had to stop spending," she said. "He was actually scared she would leave him because their financial situation changed so drastically."
He will be reduced to flying on the rich person equivalent of U.S. Airways
"A year ago, he would have only flown Gulfstreams," Mr. Sullivan said. "Now it's moving to the point where he's flying Beech jets and Learjets."
He will become a FAT ASS
The very wealthy can't hide anything from their nutritionists and personal trainers, because they see the weight gain. Heather Bauer, a dietitian who works with many Wall Street executives who pay $600 to $800 a month for her services, says her clients have been eating and drinking more in the last six months. She sees results of this indulging each time they step on a scale, and in their journals that record what they've eaten.
Her clients blame the economy for their out-of-control waistlines.
"The number one concern that they have is the state of the financial market," she said. "There definitely is a correlation between the stock market and weight gain."
He will never get laid again.
Even their sex lives are suffering, Ms. Bauer said, because of the stress or because the weight gain makes them feel unattractive.
It's Not Easy Being Less Rich [NYT]
*A divorcée only getting $2 million + alimony in the settlement might as well pack it in and relocate to Bay Ridge.