A Modest Proposal

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Merrill Lynch needs a new logo to more accurately reflect the trajectory it's been taking of late, and its goals for the future. Though an image of CEO John Thain wearing a custom designed executioner's mask with space cut out for a ball gag would be the logical successor to the bull, this is a family firm and that kind of smut, while fitting, won't fly. Luckily, we have another good candidate for consideration.



It's this monster beast that Gawker reported had washed up ashore in Montauk yesterday. No one really knows if its some sort of viral ad campaign or the product of a nearby government animal testing facility close by in Long Island, but that's all immaterial. This thing is perfect. First of all, it sort of vaguely resembles a really fucked up looking bull and preserving a sense of history is important. Secondly, it looks like there's something coming out of Monster Beast's ass, not unlike the blood gushing from Merrill's posterior. Thirdly, it's clearly about to die and, if you look closely, is giving the middle finger, which is more or less the exact same thing Merrill's doing, like, yeah, fuck you as I die, shareholders, Lehman, American banking system and so on and so forth. Finally, it's absolutely terrifying, and I would posit--and I don't think I'm alone here--the only hope for turning things around. You make a haunt-one's-nightmares, unimaginably scary who-knows-what-it-is-or-what-it's-capable-of monster your logo, people know not to fuck with you.

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