Is Wall Street Hammered?

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Portfolio went downtown yesterday and sort of tested Bartender Bush's not off-camera confessional about Wall Street's drinking problem. Except that he said "Wall Street got drunk and now it has a hang over," so the fact that many of the random passersby were sober at the time doesn't really prove or disprove anything. Nonetheless, watching a bunch of you guys blow into a breathalizer was definitely a quality way to start the morning, and will dovetail nicely with our project this afternoon, when we will kindly ask you to piss into a cup to test for a grab bag ofdrugs. Don't be afraid, but we will be naming names and employers.

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The next hedge fund manager to invest in Apple gets a horse semen pie to the face. ...all those super-rich people who turned to hedge funds with their millions in the hopes that bunches of Whiz-Kids from Wharton and Harvard and Yale would find unseen and wildly creative investment ideas to fatten their fortunes – all those rich clients are actually finding out now that those same Whiz Kids are buying Apple just like the rest of us [...] Jesus. After all that craziness in the last decade or so, after MF and the London Whale and all that nuttiness, this is what it comes down to? These guys are buying Apple? Couldn't we have just started off doing that and saved ourselves all that trouble? [...] Someday we'll get back to the time when the really smart guys from the best schools went to work for companies that built actual products, engineered more efficient cars, cured diseases, etc. Because it seems like our best minds kind of suck at investing. More Evidence That Wall Street Is Overpaid [TAIBBLOG]