Own A Piece Of Egret-Loving History

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This is the one we've been waiting for, people. Manhattan Federal Judge Colleen McMahon, none too pleased with the stunts pulled by Sam Israel, is taking away his toys. McMahon signed a preliminary agreement yesterday demanding the industry's biggest M*A*S*H fan hand over the scooter he tooled around on after faking his death, the RV he was hiding out in, a Tiffany watch and the $932 that was in his pocket when he was arrested on July 2 in Southwick, Massachusetts. Here's where we come in: all the items are being sold, with any profits-- and if I know the DealBreaker audience and its sick fetishes, there will be many-- going toward the $150 million Israel owes in restitution. We'll post more information about the sale as soon as it's available, and, in the meantime, pray to God authorities will recover the love tokens Israel had stashed around his apartment in anticipation of his reunion with the egret, and the condom they used on their last night together (just kidding-- Israel convinced her to go without, noting that any man-bird that came of it was meant to be).
Wall St. Swindler Loses Scooter [NYDN]

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