Stalking Steve Jobs

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As you know, a lot of Apple shareholders have been freaking out over the life expectancy of a suddenly skinny Steve Jobs, causing several days of erratic trading, with AAPL down us much as ten percent on Tuesday, and two percent this morning. Though the SEC has no hard and fast rules regarding disclosure of a CEO's health, a whole bunch of "experts" have put in their two cents on the matter, urging the company to be "as transparent as possible" by making a "public announcement" about what's up. Though historically Apple has been less than an open book, and was criticized in 2003 for not telling the world about Jobs's pancreatic cancer until after the tumor was removed, it seems that we're finally breaking them.
Are there other things about SJ you've always wanted to know that we could claim may affect his ability to carry out his responsibilities? Now is the time to hit these bitches hard. Here are a few issues we'd like to be read in on (please add your demands below. I know we can crack them). 1. Sexual conquests, including name, act, method of birth control, location of act and how much time was spent laying groundwork (anything longer than 20 minutes is money out of shareholders' pockets. I want fish in barrels, not dinner and drinks, which is time that could be better spent developing the next iWhatever). 2. Drug usage-- how much did he pay and method of insertion. 3. Food-- is SJ a 3-square meals a day type guy or a snacker, and if the latter, what kind of snacks? Is there a lot of high fructose corn syrup going on? 4. Recent playlists (what's he running to? what's he working to?) 5. This is more a general catch all but something we'd really be interested in is having a webcam on SJ, at all times.
Limited Disclosure On Jobs May Bite Apple [NYP]

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