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The Stimulus Checks Are, Well, Stimulating Men Across America

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We didn't get stimulus checks. Obviously it's because the IRS hates us. If we did, we'd probably just waste it on 3G iPhones like everyone else on the internet. In middle America, however, they're spending their checks at Wal-Mart (the lines at Sears were too long), the gas station and groceries.
And, it seems, porn. According to Corey Lorinsky of ClusterStock, the porn industry is claiming a surprising rise in porn purchases in recent weeks. "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market," irk Mishkin, head research consultant for Adult Internet Market Research Company.
In other news, being the head research consultant on porn sounds like it should be a lot more interesting job than it actually is.
Where The Government Stimulus Checks Really Went: Porn [ClusterStock]