Amex Encourages Employees To Fire Each Other

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When layoffs season really got into full swing, we urged you to get creative regarding how you went about firing people. (A few out of the box ideas included: "A game of Assassin," "turn off all the lights for five minutes and let everyone slap whoever they can at will/random. When the lights come on, the people with the reddest faces should be fired," "something having to do with a lethal strain of syphilis (the rule is it can't be treated)"). Goldman was the only one who did, though the Masters in HR refused to take ownership of their genius, only commenting "no comment" when asked about the Accelerated Analyst Program at GS. And that's no fun. If you're going to fuck with soon-to-be former employees you've got to own that shit.
Today a brave band of forward thinkers at Amex did just that. Tomorrow I hope you [Thain, Pandit, WHOEVER] will do the same. Apparently an e-mail went out to all AXP employees that said, paraphrasing, "As you know, we're in a rough economic environment...so we're launching a campaign called Speak Up and Speak Out, so that you can report on each others' violations without reprieve." We've got tons of cuts to make so no transgression is too small. Do you sense that the guy who sits next to you genuinely enjoys "Two and a Half Men"? LET US KNOW. Cost cutting or not, his ass deserves to be canned.

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