And Finally: Who's Your Dry Cleaner?

Author:
Updated:
Original:

Oh hell fuck yes. We've just learned (via Gawker) the joyous news that Time magazine is soliciting questions to throw at Bonfire of the Vanities author Tom Wolfe in an upcoming issue. Now is our chance. Trot on over to the site and submit any queries only the White-Suited One can answer. To get the ball rolling, here are few issues I'm sure we've all been wrestling with for a while. Feel free to use them as your own:
1. I've been tossing around the idea of a new wardrobe the basis of which is an albino color scheme. Problem is, I'm a total slob. I've noticed there's nary a stain on you. Do you avoid dark beverages? Or is one of those handy Tide To Go sticks your secret weapon?
2. You appeared visibly drunk and as though you'd accidentally stumbled in a side door of the NYSE the morning Blackstone went public. Truth?
3. Do you own a sword cane?
4. I've recently been involved in a hit-and-run. I killed the guy which I don't think would be that big a deal (definitely not the first time) but the problem is I dabble in drug usage and am most likely going to test positive for a hodgepodge of goodies (silly 'Journal' only nailing me for pot), which I don't think the judge will look too kindly on. I lost my free legal counsel when I got canned from Mare Bearns so...any advice?
5. Fuck, Marry, Kill: Steve Cohen, Paul Tudor Jones, Warren Buffett.
Ask Tom Wolfe [Time]

Related

News

A Final Update And Cautionary Tale From Your Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge Manager

This is Pool Manager NakedShort, signing off until next year: "Tied for first are 'HeyConnah' and 'Shawn S.' Both have Kansas winning, while HeyConnah predicts a final aggregate score of 125 and Shawn S puts it at 128. If Kentucky prevails tonight, 'Benjamin W.' will be the new owner of, among other things, some awesome swag; he has Kentucky winning it all and is currently in sole possession of second place. On a personal note, I've been a huge KU fan my entire life and I am a little (a lot) pissy about there being no possible way for me-- currently tied for 7th-- to win. What I'm saying is..." "KANSAS OWES ME AT LEAST A TITLE to compensate for the fact that I will not be taking home the DBNCAATC trophy. That said, it's probably for the best: the last time I won a bracket pool and KU won the title in the same night I got so drunk I blacked out and according to my wife, came into the bedroom and yelled 'Fuck You Roy (Williams),' before vomiting all over the area rug and passing out. Needless to say she was not a happy camper cleaning the mess while being 5 months pregnant. Good luck to our leaders and may the odds be forever in your favor."