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Steve Jobs Is Dead Still Alive

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Relax. Steve Jobs is not dead even though you might have read his obituary yesterday on Bloomberg. The financial news service was updating its obituary on Jobs and accidentally published it on its wires.
"It was momentarily posted on the external wire, in error, and immediately deleted (within thirty seconds)," a spokeswoman for Bloomberg told DealBreaker.
It's not likely many were fooled into thinking the head of Apple was dead. It was full of blank spaces marked "TK" and "XXXX." The obituary contains notes on who to contact for comments on the death of Jobs. Named are Steve Wozniak, Larry Ellison, Al Gore, Bill Gates and Eric Schmidt, among others. So now Jobs knows who he should suck up to if he wants them to say nice things about him when he's dead.
The subheads tell you most of what you need to know. The first is appealingly morbid: "Time Is Limited." The rest read: "Change the World" "Mac" "Reality Distortion Field" "Sugared Water" "`Toy Story' Success" "Back to Apple" "We're Back" "Backdated Options" "Common Bug" "Great Work." Gotta love that sequence of back, back, backdaing, bug, RIP. (Gawker posted the whole thing here.)
Just in case this happens again, we suggest you check here for updates on the vitality of Jobs before trading.
The story also contains a canned explanation of the likely drop in Apple's stock. After the jump, read why the stock drop "is no surprise to investors and analysts."

(IF STOCK DROPS): The decline is no surprise to investors
and analysts, many of whom considered Jobs irreplaceable. Gene
Munster of Piper Jaffray & Co. in Minneapolis had said if Jobs
left the company for any reason, Apple's stock might plummet as
much as 25 percent.
Jobs never named a successor, instead telling shareholders
in March 2008 that the board would have a variety of executives
to choose from were he to step down for any reason. He
highlighted the long tenure of top Apple managers and singled out
two potential leaders: Chief Operating Officer Timothy Cook and
Chief Financial Officer Peter Oppenheimer. Cook stood in for Jobs
during his leave in 2004.