The Greatest Copycat Story Of All Time

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A San-Fransisco based hedge fund manager inspired by Goldman senior exec-cum-landscape architect Mark Spilker's arbitrary and unilateral decision last year to cut down neighbor Jim Chanos's shrubs is going downtown. Derek Webb, who runs quant shop Web Capital Management, was found guilty of vandalism for taking it upon himself to trim the trees at a state park adjacent to his vacation home, after officials caught him, I shit you not, hacking away at branches with a chainsaw. Like Spilker, Webb claims he was merely trying to make the path more user friendly. Unlike Spilker, who mostly got off for the crime, Webb has been sentenced to five days in prison. Though we're sure Chanos has long moved on from the incident, we personally wouldn't mind seeing the Webb ruling setting a retroactive precedent and Spilker spending a couple days in the big house, as it would teach him a lesson about entitlement, and undoubtedly be hilarious, for all involved (especially the first year dispatched for conjugal visits).
Hedgie Gets Jail Time For Trimming Trees [FINalternatives]

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