"This story about smoking marijuana with some woman in a bathroom at a tournament site is pure fiction."


So fuck you, Wall Street Journal! On behalf of Jimmy C, who could not be reached, we demand a retraction, an apology, and a clarification of facts, which should read thusly:
"That 2-bit reporter got her facts completely wrong. First of all, we weren't in the bathroom, we were in the back alley behind the hotel. Secondly, it wasn't 'at the end of the day.' We'd been meeting every hour on the hour between rounds for a few quick hits, and the episode in question was like, mid-day. C, it wasn't a joint, which I know because I'd just washed down a bag of Fritos with a 2-liter of Pepsi and was about to use the bottle as a receptacle in which to relieve myself when the chick I was with-- that was the one thing they got right, I was with the little trixie from Sheboygan who'd obviously been taken by my skills at the card table--was like, no, let's make a grav-bong. Next time you're going to come after me, get your facts straight, is all I'm saying."
Jimmy Cayne In His Own Words: Marijuana [Fortune]


This Is A Story About A Person Who Volunteered To Run A Marathon While Hungover For $1,000

The following note was found in our inbox earlier this afternoon: "Our junior guy came in this morning hung over and stinking like booze. After a few of us made comments on how awful he looked, he responded by letting us know that he's in good enough shape to run a marathon, right now. Almost in sync and without hesitation, we said "done." He named his price: $1000 (WAY TOO LOW) and within 2 minutes, he had $1000 cash on his desk. He just left the trading floor and is headed back to his apartment to change into running clothes. He initially said he could finish the 26.2 in less than 5 hours in his work clothes as long as we let him change into sneakers. We decided to let him change into running gear, since we're good guys, but he still has the 5 hour time limit. We're tracking him via his iPhone's GPS. Happy Friday.”