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Confidential To Dodd

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I realize we shouldn't expect much from the brain trust that is Congress, but it's extremely alarming that they may pass this bailout package with asking the most important question of all first. A watchful Dealbreaker reader points out that no one seems to be concerned with the logistics of the drop. Specifically, how many helicopters would The Helicopter need to distribute the $700 billion, and at what additional cost? $100 = 1 gram. 454 grams = 1 pound. $700 billion in hundos (that's how The Beard and Bald roll) = 15,418,502 lbs. It seems that the biggest readily available helicopter is the CH-53 SUPER STALLION. Payload = 37,000 lbs. Bald, Beard, and the Balardettes will need 482 (...or 48.2 and 10 days) of these babies to distribute the $700 billion. And who's going to foot THAT bill? They're primarily used by the military and let's be honest-- they could use the money and are probably going to take us for a ride. We'd be better off using one of those guns that shoots tee-shirts at sporting events. You know the ones I'm talking about.