Holy fucking hell I can barely type this as I am shaking in excitement and definitely suffering from a decrease in oxygen to the brain as a result of hyperventilating-inducing euphoria. Tonight, at 10 PM, Dateline will be airing "The Mystery of the Missing Millionaire," a special about SAM ISRAEL! I'm truly beside myself. As it would be a fool's mission to try and not get our hopes up, we expect tonight's show to include the following:
- B-roll of the egret and interviewer walking down the street
- An interview with a sex therapist who specializes in interspecies intercourse
- A Dealbreaker shout-out!
- An interview with the trollop who outbid us for the b-card.
- An eyewitness account of the industry's biggest M*A*S*H fan escaping the second time around.
- YOUR CALL
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An all-new Dateline Friday 10 p.m./9 C [MSNBC]