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"It's You, You Big Fat Toad, YOU!"

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So, what's going to happen with that bailout bill? Now that McCain's come to save ruin everything, who the fuck knows! Bushie is speaking at 9:35 which is sure to be interesting but while we wait, I highly, HIGHLY suggest you listen to this clip from Bill O'Reilly's talk radio show last night, in which he expresses his feelings on the rescue package. For those who can't (I think there are people who can't, I don't know), I've transcribed it below, which wasn't even that labor intensive because I've listened to it many times, with pleasure. Note: this is a two and a half minute monologue. There is no one else talking.

"Most talk radio is conservative dominated ideologues, or kool-aid drinking idiots. Idiots.
Screaming at you "This is socialism, this is this this is that"
"It's Clintons fault, it's Clinton's fault." It's Clinton's fault? Clinton hasn't been in office in 8 years.
It's Bush's fault, it happened on Bush's watch. He could've prevented this. He could've gone easily and said Merrill Lynch is dealing in bad paper he could've said that.
Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac they're dealing in bad paper, so you the investor, don't invest in those companies. You think they would've continued to deal in bad paper? No they would not!
But let's get back to this talk radio stuff
These idiots are misleading you they're lying to you
They're rich, these guys
Big cigars, all of that! Private jets, "Oh yeah, my private jet!"
And they're saying "No bailout, no no uh uh no way"
Hey! You're going to get it, not them
That foreign investment pulls out, we are toast
And they'll pull out if that bailout doesn't happen
Are you getting the message here?
Walk away from these liars, these right wing liars
Walk away from them, they're not looking out for you!
I don't even want to talk about the far left
Barney Frank? Disgusting!
Pointing fingers?
It's you you big fat toad, YOU!
Dodd, sittin' there
[incomprehensible impression of Dodd]
It's you Dodd, you! You knew!
I swear to god, if they were in this room right now, I would hit them
Dodd and Frank
The house finance and senate finance
They knew!
Don't point a finger at anybody, I'll break that finger off
So! you got corruption on the right, and corruption on the left
And who gets it? You get it, you, the hardworking person
The next politician that gets up their and points a finger, I'm go after them myself
Shut up! Fix it! These are people's lives
I got enough money in the bank. Unless a bank fails, I'm fine
But you're probably not fine
I'm lucky
I'm tired of these charlatans on both sides
Lying to you, because they're ideological kool-aid drinkers or corrupt toads
And I'm talkin to you Barney Frank
Who's the guy who was saying,
"If you don't lend money to poor people you're a bigot"
Who was saying that barney, WHO?!
[pause] I gotta take a break"


Bill Gross Is Not The Only One Who Feels Fat

Are your pants getting a little tight? Have you become convinced mirrors have a personal vendetta against you? Are you too distracted by the rolls spilling over your pants to trade? Do you find yourself veering off course in your letters to investors to talk about your love handles? Is it only a matter of time before you lose your firm billions and/or take down the entire market because your fingers are so big they span four keys each on the keyboard? Do you want to do something about it but are repulsed by the idea of healthy eating and exercise and also know yourself well enough to realize that there is no way you're going to be able to stay strong if everyone around you is eating delicious fried food at lunch and sooner or later you, a usually pretty mild-mannered guy, will be leaping across a row of Bloomberg terminals and threatening to kill a coworker (and meaning it) unless he hands over Ho Ho now? Then round up your tubbiest colleagues and tell them they're in for a real treat. Eric Helms, who founded the four-year-old Cooler Cleanse company with the actress Salma Hayek, says office cleansers now make up 30 percent of his business, and in the last year he has hired three customer-service employees just to handle the details of them. He said there has been a “huge increase in popularity” of cleansing with co-workers in the last year, which he credits to juice diets being more mainstream. “Everyone knows someone who’s done one, and they realize they’re a lot easier to do with colleagues during the workweek,” he said. “People want to indulge” — not sip celery — “on weekends.” Recent six-juice-a-day-dieters include employees at Merrill Lynch and the Carlyle Group, she said. In May, Citigroup began offering BluePrintCleanse in some of its Manhattan cafeterias, a spokeswoman said...About two-thirds of cleanse clients over all are women, but corporate cleanses “commonly skew toward men, especially traders, investment bankers and lawyers,” said Jina Wye, director of sales and marketing for BluePrintCleanse, founded in 2007 by two former Hudson Hotel bartenders looking to swap their poisons. (Mr. Helms said 90 percent of his male customers are part of groups.) Ms. Wye said: “These Type-A men have an all-or-none perspective. If they’re going to commit, they do it whole hog.” Most popular among male en masse cleansers: the Excavation cleanse, described on the Web site as “the most intense.” And if you want to really crank things up a notch, consider gauging interest in a group colonic to top things off. Cleansing From Cubicle To Cubicle [NYT] Related: I’m afraid I might tell her to buy a gun and just shoot me before the fat and the cellulite strike again.