Mr. Buffett received a call at 4:30 p.m. that Saturday from a private investment firm trying to assemble a group to buy the embattled financial giant. "I'm calling about Bear Stearns,'" the private investor began, according to Mr. Buffett. "Should I go on?'"
Mr. Buffett recalls thinking: "It's like a woman taking off half her clothes and asking, 'Should I continue?' Even if you're a 90-year-old eunuch, you let 'em finish." Mr. Buffett says he passed on the proposed deal. Bear Stearns was bought by J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. the following day.
"You see, Wall Street Journal reporter, Bear Stearns was like a dirty, garish, very garish whore. You didn't want to slap a ring on her finger* like you did--or I did-- with GS, but what, were you going to say, excuse me, I can't be here, when she stuck her gigantic chemical ball breasts in your face? I think not. You people should know by now that that's just not how WB rolls.
Oh, and in case you were wondering-- yes, I do indeed have an analogy for every bank on the Street, which likens the firm to various women in my life. Lehman Brothers, of course, would be the hooker I accidentally killed in a cheap motel on the outskirts of Vegas in '89."
Earlier: "You Don't Want To Keep It--Cash-- Around Forever, Otherwise It's Like Saving Sex For Old Age. At Some Point, You've Got To Use It"
And Yet, This Is Still Preferable To Ace Greenberg Giving Us Intimate Details About Barbara Walters
*I can't speak to Jamie Dimon's proclivities.