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Opening Bell: 09.05.08

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Have A Knife, Will Travel: A Slaughterhouse On Wheels (WSJ)
Everything I know about farms I learned from Babe so I was under the impression you could kill your own animals in the privacy of your own barn. Apparently, not so much. Got to do it at a "federally sanctioned slaughterhouse" and it'll cost you but not if you live on Lopez Island where they now have the nation's first (?) traveling slaughterhouse. This is awesome in and of itself but also something that could be easily translatable to the business world, and work nicely in our never ending quest to inject a little creativity into your layoffs.
Hedge Fund Atticus Denies Liquidation Rumors (Reuters)
Hedge fund Atticus Capital gets its rumors just like everyone else (the fourteenth floor men's room of 383 Madison Avenue) and the latest one--that they're going the way of Ospraie-- is "not true," founder Tim Barakett told the Wall Street Journal. Though the firm's two main funds have lost between 25 and 32 percent, investors are supposedly still in it to win it, and have not asked for their money back. "We're certainly not liquidating," Barakett said.
Lehman Weighs Split to Rid Itself of Troubling Loans (NYT)
The braintrust at Lehman Brothers has decided the answer to its problems is to split the bank into an A-team and a B-Team.
Greenspan: Don't use Fed as a 'magical piggy bank' (AP)
But by all means, feel free to stick your hand up Bernanke's undercarriage and see what you can find.
Countrywide Tries Again to Settle Lending Suit (Reuters)
Countrywide Financial Corp. has submitted a new proposal to try and get a federal judge to resolve "claims" of not so proper lending practices. Apparently CFC has been "making inaccurate claims, filing needless paperwork, demanding improper fees and charges, and losing or destroying more than $500,000 in checks from homeowners in foreclosure." The new terms are prettay prettay harsh--a trustee will now make sure that Countrywide is "cashing checks properly" and assure that "each and every fee or charge added to [borrowers '] accounts has been fully disclosed and either permitted by court order or absorbed by the company."