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Opening Bell: 09.09.08

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Rescue of Mortgage Giants Displays Paulson's Clout (NYT)
Recently, President Bushy has made no bones about the fact the he's back on the sauce. And it turns out we're all safer for it, because apparently for Jorge, with stunning drunkness comes stunning clarity--that he doesn't know shit. Or maybe it's not that so much that he's come to grips with the fact that he wouldn't know not to stick his dick in a pencil sharpener, let alone how to save Fannie and Freddie, but simply taking active steps to avoid a DUI No. 2? President Bush may be the nation's first M.B.A. president, but when Mr. Bush and a small coterie of advisers met in the Oval Office last week to complete their plan to rescue the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, there was no question who was in charge. It was Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr..."He was all the way in the driver's seat, and that was where the president wanted him," said Tony Fratto, Mr. Bush's deputy press secretary, adding, "The sentiment was, 'You're in charge, and I hope it works.' "
B of A On Deck With Yankees (NYP)
Hey, Yankees fans, need a reminder your team in the toilet? Bank of America is finalizing a deal to become the biggest sponsor of the new stadium. The near $20 million package is in the same league as Citi's arrangement with the Mets, though unlike Panditville does not come with naming rights.
London Joins New York At Top (FT)
Let's be crazy today and do something we haven't done in years: argue over which city is the financial capital of the world. London or New York. A new study by the World Economic Forum can't decide.
Financier Tied to Burkle Nears Plea Deal (WSJ)
Anne Hathaway's boyfriend is said to be near an agreement to plead guilty to fraud and money-laundering charges. For his alleged crime, which involved misleading investors by hilariously convincing them that he was tight with the Vatican, Raffaello Follieri faces up to five years in prison.

Feeling Left Out? France Calls for More Intervention
Aw, zee frogs want in on zee fun! French Finance Minister Christine Lagarde told CNBC that witnessing the Fannie and Freddie fiasco has convinced her to get more involved in her own country's financial sector. "It only goes to show that nothing is ever certain in this world and that clearly we need to collectively rethink the moral compass that has driven the financial actors, the financial players and the financial markets," Lagarde said yesterday.
Bulletproof Your Job (Fox Business)
These are Fox Business's tips for not getting laid off:
1. Have good chemistry with your boss.
2. Come into the office.
3. Volunteer to get paid less
4. Don't take up time consuming hobbies "like starting a bakery."
5. Set up a Google alert for your company and boss and use whatever you find to your advantage ("Maybe your firm's getting sold," "Maybe [your boss] has a DUI charge").