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Opening Bell: 09.12.08

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Lehman Wake Hosted by Bobby Van's as Resumes Flood Headhunters (Bloomberg)
Lehman Brothers employees are getting more drunk that usual which-- makes sense! But it's a happy drunk and a not a my life is over drunk, according to "a man wearing a green Lehman baseball cap who wouldn't give his name and described his Lehman job as being in capital markets," who told Bloomberg, "Everyone's keeping their heads...Ups and downs happen. People adjust. No one's panicking.'' And while it's not the end yet, the drunkards are still being proactive about this shit, and sending out resumes left and right. According to Linda Bialecki, president of Bialecki Inc, a New York-based management search firm, "The best people are scrambling to find opportunities." Even Dealbreaker received a few cover letters last night. I kid, but don't let that stop you. Be the first!
Lehman's Political Largesse (DealBook)
Lefties at Lehman! According to a study by the Center for Political Politics, the Brothers currently rank No. 4 among all securities firms and investment banks in contributions to federal parties and candidates. Nearly all donations come from individuals employees and sixty four percent of those checks went to Democrats. The flamingly liberal Lehmanites have given $370,524 to Obama while tossing McCain a mere $117,500, and among big donors clock in at the tenth largest for the the Big O (and fifteenth for McCain). You think this is why they're going down? You'd like that, wouldn't you.
Lehman Still Looking for Suitor, Possible 3-Way Deal (CNBC)
And you thought this wasn't going to be any fun.
Hedge Fund Glory Days Fading Fast (NYT)
Are you, too, going to slit your wrists if one more story is written about hedge funds not doing as well as they used to, not because you're sad for the hedge funds but because this story is written every single day? Just me? Okay. In fairness, this one is actually slightly darker than the usual, OMFG, SAC was down 2 percent last month!, if only for the fact that hedge fund recruiting firm Heidrick & Struggle (real name) apparently has a list of 100 firms on a sinister-sounding "Watch List" (and is saying it "expects 50 to 80 to fail in the coming months").
Texas holdouts urge Hurricane Ike to "bring it on!" (Reuters)
Dick? Is that you in there? Hurricane Ike may be taking aim for the low-lying coast of Texas, but grocery store worker Jacqueline Harris is staying put -- in a flimsy, wooden beach bar.
"If nature is going to come and get us, bring it on!" Harris said as she sipped a Bud light beer at the Poop Deck, a tavern a stone's throw from the sandy coastal strip thrashed by white-capped waves.
"Everything I own and love is on the island; I'm going down with the ship," she added.

Merrill Shares Catch Lehman Bug (Reuters)
I'm not sure I understand what he's getting's like he's trying to tell us something but I'm not sure what...what is it Lassie? Lehman's in trouble? Dicky fell down the well? Woof? Bark? Woof?: "Bear Stearns was the weakest of the investment banks [and] Lehman Brothers is ... obviously having issues..." said Ben Wallace, securities analyst at Grimes & Co, (who also added that the next on the list is probably Merrill Lynch, which would explain why G&C sold the last of its MER shares yesterday).
I just really like this song. (YouTube)