As you well know, there is some Gary Busey-Anna Nicole love child crazy shit going on today, and it's scaring the hell out of a lot of people. Even if your CEOs can't fix things, the least they can do is hold us close, lie and say everything will be alright. First at bat is Vikram Pandit. DealBook has the memo he just sent out to all C employees wherein he strokes their collective heads and tells them not to be afraid, cause Count Vikula's going to get us through this. Then he jots down some talking points about how well Citi's done over the last year that one should apparently read to clients and shareholders, in the event that they ring you up not to shoot the breeze, but, alternatively, to grab you by the lapels and freak the fuck out. He ends on an opportunistic note for Citi, and a slightly vindicating one for Vic, one that says, "Perhaps my 'crazy' statement back in the day wasn't so 'crazy' after all":
Finally, it is clear our industry is in a state of change, but I am confident that this should be an opportunity for Citi.
To maybe...make Citi "the best company in the world, bar none"?