You know, if I were one of the companies left off the short sell ban, I'd probably be pretty pissed about it, but I like to think that if I were one of the people in charge of compiling the list, I'd have the backbone to say fuck you, no, you cannot get in on this shit, we are trying to maintain (establish?) a modicum of respectability here, peo-ple. Luckily for those parties desiring to benefit from the Long Only Suction, the SEC and I do not see eye to eye. The following companies have seen their applications to be added to the list approved, likely without background checks or even saying please. Are you, too, seeking the protection of the paradoxically named Chris Cox? We've obtained the paperwork you'll need to fill out, also found after the jump. Please note that examiners have wide latitude to make exceptions to the normal passing score, in cases of hardship, non-native English speakers, and for those who are intellectually challenged or cannot appear to take the test, owing to their compelled residence in a state-operated facility.
LG GLG Partners, Inc.
GE General Electric Co.
OCN Ocwen Financial Corporation
KBW KBW, Inc.
GFG Guaranty Financial Group Inc.
MFG Mizuho Financial Group, Inc.
FMR First Mercury Financial Corporation
STC Stewart Information Services Corporation
FCF First Commonwealth Financial Corporation
MTB M&T Bank Corporation
DFS Discover Financial Services
BMO Bank of Montreal
TD Toronto Dominion Bank
CM Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce
FMD The First Marblehead Corporation
BBV Banco Bilbao Vizcaya SA
CIB BanColombia SA
LM Legg Mason, Inc.
NFP National Financial Partners Corp.
AXP American Express Company
CIT CIT Group Inc.
GM General Motors Corporation
HIG The Hartford Financial Services Group
ADS Alliance Data Systems Corporation
ALD Allied Capital Corporation
RAS RAIT Financial Trust
DRL Doral Financial Corporation
FSR Flagstone Reinsurance Holdings
MCO Moody's Corporation
COF Capital One Financial Corporation