CNBC Doesn't Understand Why You Won't Be Exploited For Ratings

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So, okay. CNBC managing editor Tyler Mathison offered up "An Open Invitation" to "CEOs, mutual fund managers, and financial leaders to appear on CNBC with your plan to lead us out of this financial crisis." First he said it was because "it's been conspicuous that, with a few notable exceptions, a number of CEOs" have declined CNBC's offer to go on the air and calm the nerves and explain the steps that should be taken to get us out of this mess. Then he said these guys and girls should want to go on-air not just to calm the nation, but to specifically reassure their "shareholders, customers, and investors." Regarding the first: did you ever think that perhaps they don't have a clue as to how the hell we're going to get out of this one, and going on TV and just winging it ("Okay, we're going to need a stick of gum, a rubber band, and a can of Fresca...and a box of Thin mints, not so much for the rescue plan but because I need a snack") would be...not helpful? Regarding the second? Two words: Alan Schwartz.

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The Feds Are Struggling To Understand Why Mathew Martoma Won't Just Turn On Steve Cohen Already, God Damn It

"We have been remarkably successful in convincing persons to cooperate with the government, and provide evidence to us, and in court of law," SEC director of enforcement Robert Khuzami said during a press conference the day the government went public with its charges of insider trading against former SAC Capital employee Mathew Martoma. To the untrained ear, Khuzami probably appeared to be speaking to no one in particular, just sending a general message to any would-be criminals out there that once the government got to their co-conspirators, it'd be all over. No one wants to do time, and everybody flips. To those who've been following Operations Perfect Hedge, though, and have watched the Feds' relentless pursuit of Steven A. Cohen,  it was obvious they were sending a clear message to the Big Guy: "We got ya boy, and ya goin' down." And since its track record of getting people to turn on their colleagues and in some cases, their best friends (see: Noah Freeman/Donald Longueuil, and these guys, and these guys, and this guy) really has been "remarkably successful," and since Martoma has a wife and two young kids and his whole life ahead of him, Khuzami and Co. probably assumed they had this one in the bag. But not so.