This is a horrific way to start the morning, so I'm just going to assume that I'm still sleeping and this is a terrible nightmare from which I'll soon wake up. The Wall Street Journal reports that Goldman Sachs plans to cut about ten percent of its 32,500 employees, even though Chief Financial Officer David Viniar said in September that the firm's head count for the year would be flat or higher. Obviously he spoke too soon (or said "head" when he meant to say "body" which, admittedly is an easy mistake to make), and now we're all paying for it. What's worse, there's no sign or word from the bank that this is merely part of its yearly exercise in which they lop off the bottom, least Sachy members of the group. I swear, and this should be treated as a threat, someone had better be coming up with a new and inventive way to package this shit, otherwise, I'm really going to lose it. Please. Give us something.