Sam Israel Offered Yet Another Opportunity To Escape

Author:
Publish date:

Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley may be getting lightly pounded this morning but thanks to a being dubbed possibly insane, Sam Israel is not. Yes, ladies, the hedge fund industry's biggest M*A*S*H fan has seen his prison sentence delayed for a third time. The Bayou Group founder, who ran into some trubs when he ripped off his investors for $450 million and then faked his own death in an attempt to avoid the big house, has been ordered to undergo 90 days of medical and psychological evaluation in North Carolina. Israel's plea hearing has now been delayed until next year (the last time he got out of it was because his lawyer convinced the judge the process of weaning Israel off of fentanyl patches wasn't complete yet; the time before that apparently had to do with the fact that Sammy's smack habit rendered his ability to think clearly at about "60 to 70 percent"). Obviously we welcome this moment of reprieve with open arms, though we are a bit nervous about some quack doctor trying to "cure" SI of his attraction to birds. Fingers-crossed, some opened minded saint who understand that there's nothing wrong with inter-species sex is assigned to his case.

Related