I always worry about what will happen to a company's employees following a merger, 'cause you know a lot of people are going to be out of a job, even ones who didn't fuck anything up. It was touch and go for a while but it is a tremendous weight off our shoulders to hear that Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain will have a home at the newly formed Bank of Merrill Countrywide. B of A Chairman and chief exec Ken Lewis announced this morning that Thain will have "a major role" in the combined companies, serving as president of Global Banking, Securities, and Wealth Management, and captain of the bank's wrestling squad, which is looking to take home the championship this year.
"I am delighted that John has agreed to join Bank of America," Lewis said. "His experience and expertise will be invaluable as we put our two companies together and move forward as the premier financial services company in the world." Vikram Pandit, who, as you know, thinks Citi is poised to become "the best company in the world, bar none," is preparing a memo to send out to friends and foes within the hour. The gist: "oh no she di'int."