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Waiting On The Good News From Goldman Sachs. Just Waiting.

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Despite erroneous reports to the contrary, Goldman Sachs's new partner managing directors will not be announced today. Yes, this is disappointing. BUT. Because we know we've got at least 24 hours until the big list comes out, we'd like to take this opportunity to make a last minute plea to whoever is in charge of orchestrating the event that it be rung in with ridiculous, almost embarrassingly crass fanfare. And I know you're going to object, citing "inappropriateness," given what we're going through, and the fact that there were a lot of issues last year surrounding the matter of how to put Lloyd Blankfein inside a cake to jump out of without suffocating the little guy, not to mention infighting amongst the team contracted to fashion the full body suit he wore during the launch, with respect to whether or not flesh colored fabric made the CEO look too much like a penis. But I'm going to ask you to put all those reservations and old wounds aside, because now, more than ever, we need hoopla.
Here's the rub: we're always excited about masters of the universe becoming that much more masterful, and we don't even stand to benefit from the distinction. Something just feels a little more somber this time around. I can't quite put my finger on exactly what the source of the overwhelming sadness permeating the DB HQs is but I can tell you it's bad. And I just feel like now is the time for Goldman to go over the top with this one. It's not going to make anyone who doesn't work at GS, or work at GS in the capacity of PMD feel better, but it'll make things as they should be. I don't want to tell you how to run things but I'm just saying that if the names happened to be announced via one of those airplanes that writes stuff in the sky, and first year analysts were tasked with shooting PMD t-shirts out of those guns they use at sporting events, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Also, think about confetti, and piñatas. At the very least, the fact that you're not being named partners of Golditi Group is cause for celebration.


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Brace yourselves, would-be chartered financial analysts.