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And Yet, The Fact Of The Matter Remains That Most If Not All Of You Would Prefer To Use And Be Used By Steve Cohen For Sex Than Be Shackled To Crab Hands For All Of Eternity

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At the Asian Venture Capital Journal conference in Hong Kong...TPG's David Bonderman explained the difference between a hedge fund investor relationship and a private equity investor relationship:
"Private equity all has long term lock ups. So you may like our performance, you may not like our performance, but you're my partner for the next 12 years (makes a smooching, kissy sound here). At a hedge fund, you're my partner for the next 45 days until you can give me notice and get the hell out."

Bonderman's Investment Kiss [Deal Zone via Daily Intel]


How Should Bill Ackman And Carl Icahn Settle This Thing Once And For All?

When Mark Hughs founded a multi-level marketing company called Herbalife in 1980, he probably thought it had the power to do a lot of things. Help people lose weight. Makes others rich. Shake up the diet industry. What he mostly likely did not expect, however, was that his li'l company that could would reignite a feud between two billionaires that would devolve into a flurry of press releases quibbling over who was dying to be friends with whom, shouting matches on live TV, and, we predict, someone telling someone else he has a right mind to "Rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You messed with the wrong hedge fund manager!"