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At Least One Person Enjoyed Getting Screwed By Sam Israel

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I know we've all become pretty attached to (obsessed with, fallen head over heels for) former hedge fund manager Sam Israel, as we've observed the lovable scamp's hilarious hijinx and pratfalls over the last five months. Since he hit the scene in June, wowing us with his commitment to M*A*S*H by incorporating a line from the series into his fake suicide note, we've had a list of questions we've always promised ourselves we'd ask if we ever got the chance to sit down with the Bayou founder. They included but certainly were not limited to 1. I know the bird on your business card is an egret but some fools think it's a pelican. Please set the record straight now. 2. When did you first realize you were attracted to Alan Alda. 3. Tell us about your sex life, specifically with Debra Ryan, the woman who tried (and failed) to help you escape. Today we can cross #3 off our list. Ryan is featured in the latest issue of lady mag Marie Claire discussing, among other things, what she describes as the "crazy sex" she and Israel got into in his pre-prison dodging days. I'm going to grab a copy of MC later but I'm going to leave you with this, as it is so obviously a fantastic way to start the morning: According to g-friend, Israel was "a joker [who] liked to sneak up on her, once while wearing sunglasses on his penis [which only contributed to] a blazing sex life...the best ever." And apparently, Ryan's not over Sam, even though he's clearly moved on to birds. "I should just see it at face value and say he [screwed] me," she noted. "But I can't let go." And really, can you blame her?