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Collateral Damage

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I bet a lot of you who've lost your jobs or are expecting to lose your jobs and maybe your life's savings and your kids' college funds and any real reason to get out of bed in the morning think you've got it bad. Well dry your tears and get a little perspective you selfish bastards because there are people who are in a way worse place at the moment. People who have little to no prospects at all. People who don't know where their next meal is going to come from. People who once legally fucked for money except now there is no money. The people I'm referring to, are gold diggers. Except guess what? There's precious little gold to dig anymore (your fault, for being unemployed). Page Six Magazine did a little investigative research this weekend and found that ladies who once made a living off you have fallen on seriously hard times. On a Tuesday night in October, three single Slavs gathered at Bagatelle, one with a "plunging neckline," one who "resembles Scarlett Johansson," and one who, most attractively, "doesn't speak English," and no one approached them. Not even some fat but loaded slob. "It's getting harder and harder to find a good man," Sophie, 23, told reporter Joshua David Stein. "Everyone is looking for handsome, rich and charming men but there are less and less of them to go around." Apparently since the whole financial apocolypse sitch started going down, "wealthy Prince Charmings, already an endangered species on the nightlife scene, have become almost completely extinct. The handsome ones aren't charming, the charming ones aren't handsome and many of the rich ones are now poor."
Desperately Seeking Sugar Daddies [Page Six Magazine]