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Dear Investor

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Sac ripping. Ass bleeding. Clown facing. Donkey punching. All vivid descriptions of what has happened to Team Tosca this month slash quarter slash oh fuck it, the whole damn year, due to the market's ridiculous mispricing of equity.
But take heart, dear, sweet Team Tosca members! Sure, your one dollar at the beginning of this year is now 34 cents. But you can take solace in knowing it's not us, it's the market. The global financial markets are wrong, and we happy few at Team Tosca are correct. Financial stocks should be priced where they were last year at the height of the most magnificent credit and liquidity bubble in the entirety of our financial civilization (we're Oxfordians here, so we've checked our history). Rest assured, the bubble will make its triumphant return. But, in the highly unlikely scenario that it doesn't come back within the next, oh, 35 trading sessions of this annus motherfucking horribilis, and the voluntary Team Tosca members trample each other like fans at a Who concert heading for the exit, we may not all make it to that glorious day. However, that is of little import to us. To paraphrase the great American orator Henry Clay: I'd rather be right than solvent.

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