I Have Been Waiting For The Perfect Time To Wheel The Dry Bar Back Onto The Trading Floor, And This Is It!

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"Alcohol brings everyone together." Absolutely goddamn right. I've been saying for months the the answer to this liquidity shortage is more liquid courage. No, it wasn't the repeal of Glass-Steagall that slowly ate away at the market, it was the partial revival of the Volstead Act in the hallowed halls of our investment banks.
The wind is changing, and here was the first clue:

...Kipton Davis, a Prudential Douglas Elliman broker from Virginia, thinks a little bourbon could be good for sales.
Just as a few drinks may coax timid traders onto a dance floor, it could help them muster the courage to buy multimillion-dollar apartments.
That's why on Wednesday night, Ms. Davis lured a half-dozen bankers, traders and friends on a condo tour of four TriBeCa buildings by offering wine and whiskey at every stop.

Any day now and we can expect Deutsche to quietly re-authorize expenses at strip clubs. We're calling a bottom. We are counting the days. Go long financial hedonism, friends.
For Apartment Shoppers, Some Liquid Courage [The New York Times] via [Daily Intel]

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A couple weeks back, Deutsche Bank vice chairman and managing director Brian Mulligan filed a claim with the city of Los Angeles, letting people know he intended to sue for $50 million over an incident that took place involving the LAPD, which left the media banker with “a broken shoulder blade and 15 nasal fractures.” According to Mulligan, police officers abducted him from a street corner, drove him to a motel, told him to wait there for a few hours, and then beat him so "ruthlessly" he "barely looked human" when they were done. According the LAPD, several calls had been placed about a man in the area "trying to break into cars" that fit Mulligan's description. They confronted the guy, who told them he was tired, which was why they drove him to the motel. He emerged hours later, started running through traffic, failed to heed their orders to get out of the street and assumed a "fighting stance," hence the need to deal with him in an aggressive fashion. At the time, a spokesman for the LA County DA’s office said that there are no plans to file criminal charges and that the office would simply like to “have a discussion" with Mulligan to advise him on "how best to follow the law so that incidents like this don’t occur again.” Also, it's possible he was experimenting with bath salts. The police report states that Mulligan was sweating profusely and walking with an unsteady gait when officers responded to reports that he was trying to break into cars in a Jack-in-the-Box parking lot. Mulligan told officers he was being chased and didn't know why. He also stated that he had ingested "white lightning" and marijuana and that he had not slept for four days. Brian Mulligan On Bath Salts: Deutsche Bank Executive Said He Was On 'White Lightning,' Police Say [HP] Earlier: Deutsche Bank Managing Director, LAPD Not Yet Seeing Eye To Eye On Savage Beating “Incident”