It's official: the employee ID once owned by former Lehman Brothers guard dog Bella, who has passed on since being laid off from by Barclays, sold for $810 in our little auction. We were going to give the proceeds to laid off Brothers and Sisters but the peanut gallery decided it would prefer the money be donated to some sort of canine charity, and we've obliged. We'll be sending a check to the Animal Medical Center. Two things.
First off, thank you buyer 'Ziggy' for shelling out big time, congratulations on having what we presume to be the last stable and lucrative job in the financial services industry, and get excited for your special delivery. Second-- this got us thinking. If the ID card of an (admittedly adorable) puppy can go for nearly a grand, imagine what we could get for the badge's of inept, deposed CEOs! So we are putting out the call now, and we'll do a little follow-up stalking with some aggravated assault later, to Fuld, Cayne, O'Neal, and Mozilo. Send us what are essentially pieces of useless plastic and we will flip them for bank and donate the bills to a worthy cause, which may turn out to be a fund for your former employees. It's actually a win-win for everyone involved, as it'd allow you guys to win back a modicum of respect from the public. And if you agreed to match the winning bid? It'd be like you were never even responsible for the failure of your respective institutions. Don't say no, just say maybe, and promise you'll think about it.