Skip to main content

Morgan Stanley's Priorities

  • Author:
  • Updated:

You know, you try and do a little service like warn people before they're about get their asses torn out so that, I'd don't know, it doesn't sneak up from behind and take them by surprise, and all of a sudden it's like you're the bad guy. It's like you, and not the ass reamers, are the ones causing the rectal prolapse. We've just been informed that Morgan Stanley was none too pleased with our humanitarian effort earlier this morning in which we gave employees a heads up vis-a-vis getting canned, and in an effort to keep said employees in the dark re: what's coming at them, blocked access to Dealbreaker, on the the equity derivatives floor of 1585 (and perhaps firmwide but I'm not sure). I'm not going to even act like I don't care because I am livid. It does me little comfort to remind the powers that be at MS that the last banks to restrict access to this here site were Bear Stearns and Merrill Lynch but I'll do it anyway because I'm furious. I'm taking care of your employees in ways you never could. And, god damn it, Mack, I sent you a fucking cheesesteak.
Okay. Now that I've slightly, but not really at all, regained my composure, I'm going to give you an opportunity to think about how ridiculous this makes you look. Unblock me now and it'll be water off a duck's back. Continue this insanity and I'll have no choice but continue publicly shaming you until conditions improve.
Update: We've been informed that the action taken to block Dealbreaker (firmwide) did not have to do with the matter of masking layoffs but the offensive description of the footwear worn by a current employee.


Layoffs/Bonus Watch '12/13: Morgan Stanley

Back in January, Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman sent a simple messages to his employees, who had been grumbling about their pay: STFU or GTFO. "You're naive, read the newspaper, No.1," Gorman told Bloomberg he would say to any members of his staff that wanted to give him lip about their compensation to his face. "No. 2, if you put your compensation in a one-year context to define your over all level of happiness, you have a problem which is much bigger than this job. And No. 3, if you're really unhappy, just leave." Today, in an interview with the FT, Gorman reiterated his stance and added that in addition to reducing compensation for current employees, the bank will likely be drastically cutting pay for future analysts. If anyone has a problem with that, consider applying for a gig at Bank of Mythical Pre-Crisis Era Bonuses. Alternatively, Gorman is happy to discuss a compensation plan in which you'll be awarded shares of his foot in your ass, which vest immediately. In the latest sign of the pressure Wall Street is under to cut costs and address high pay levels, James Gorman, chief executive, said that staff and remuneration would have to be sacrificed as banks cope with lower profits. “There’s way too much capacity and compensation is way too high,” Mr Gorman said in an interview with the Financial Times. “As a shareholder I’m sort of sympathetic to the shareholder view that the industry is still overpaid.” Morgan Stanley itself is already axing 4,000 jobs, 7 per cent of its workforce, by the end of this year. In the new year, Mr Gorman said, the bank will consider its next round of cost-cutting, including lower pay and bonuses. News of further pay cuts, including potentially for new entrants at the investment bank, comes just weeks after Goldman Sachs confirmed it was overhauling its well-known entry-level programme for analysts. Goldman was said to have tired of the number of analysts in the programme who left the bank for hedge funds. Mr Gorman said that Morgan Stanley will probably keep its own analyst programme, but pay could be reduced significantly. Morgan Stanley Chief Warns On Wall Street Pay [FT] Earlier: James Gorman To Employees: STFU Or GTFO