12:08: Late as usual.
The country is in an economic crisis. (Really?)
Actually, it's a global crisis. We need Tim. (Chant in background: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!)
Larry is the starving middle-class guy's fat, white, rich guy. (Give up some for the Summ!)
Christina (that would be Christina Romer, to everyone else) has done "ground baking research." So, I suppose Thursday is cookie day in the White House.
We have to start today. Not a minute to waste. So we are going to just ignore the fact that there is still another administration in office. We are taking some immediate actions, and addressing the auto industry, the foreclosure crisis, clean energy, infrastructure and the kitchen sink. So we have cut a deal to borrow the set of The West Wing to get things moving quickly.
Q. How soon are you going to start all this?
Q. How big is this plan going to be?
A. Really fucking big. So big I don't want to talk about it right now.
Q. What about the Bush tax cuts?
A. Well, net, net of the 95% who will be getting a net tax cut, that's net, as I said during the campaign, there will be cuts and they will be balanced so we aren't going to touch the cuts since we need to get the economy on track, but those who can afford to pay more will pay more so we can all afford this stuff to avoid avoiding tax cuts. But I really can't discuss numbers. This thing is BIG.
Q. How are you going to afford all this?
A. Well, people might be wondering how we are going to launch this massive program and throw stimulus money during a recession and a massive crisis. Well, we are going to overhaul the entire budget system, the entire tax system, the entire way business is done in Washington, and the entire role of government before we reform the markets entirely and then... well... then we break for lunch.
Q. Didn't you forget the auto industry?
A. Oh, right. That's during our working lunch. I forgot to mention that. Well, we cannot allow the auto industry disappear. Not under any circumstances. But, if we have the circumstance where the auto industry does not have its homework done again in front of Congress then we are going to let the auto industry disappear.
Q. Is anyone in the current administration even speaking with you anymore?
A. Hey, easy there. I spoke with Bush and Paulson today, okay? Listen, Congress gave the current administration a lot of authority. Yes, I haven't even been sworn into office yet, but I am going to be assessing the TARP and directing it from my West Wing Set office starting tomorrow. Ok. Later guys.
12:08: Late as usual.