Don't worry. This is NOT all I've got. I've got more. I'm just not telling you what yet.
Q. You know there is just one president at a time, right?
That president is Barack Obama George W. Bush and will be until I am sworn in. But people need to know that I'm president next. I'm next! I'm next! I'm next! They have to know it's B-Time.
Peter, Where's your floppy hat?
Q. Aren't you totally going to fuck this up with a democratic congress AND a democratic administration?
A. Hey, we won ok? Like, with a wider margin than Clinton did. Ok?
Ok, where's my plant question about local issues?
Q. What are you going to do about local money grubbing states are bankrupt. Illinois particularly. Huh? Huh? You going to forget your friends?
A. Oh, we are going to be working closely with states, and local governments. Just like we are going to work closely with Republicans. With the current administration. With France. With Iraq. With Iran. With North Korea. And friendship doesn't come into this. That's the old way of doing business. So, thanks for the help on the campaign. Now go pound salt. (Shhh, relax, the camera is on, we'll chat later. 'kay? Thanks. Bye).
Q. How are you going to keep this massive spending spree from getting out of hand and how are you going to keep these programs from becoming permanent bloodsuckers attached to the treasury?
A. I'm going to make all medical records electronic. Wait for it... wait for it.... No? Ok, cause that's what my team is here for. They are going to take care of it. No really. Don't worry. Got it all under control. What? Market? Triple digit gain wiped out since I started talking? Woah... look at the time! I have to jet. Tomorrow. Same time, same place. More appointments.