From (what should be) a (disgusted) fellow solider: "It wasn't just the fat cats at hedge funds and investment banks that gorged themselves on too many tasty, exotic products leading to colossal failure.
No my friends, unfortunately, our champion falls short. He tried so hard, and ate so fast, he had such a promising start, and now he falls just 6 snacks short.
Towards the end, our man even resorted to his own 'desperate measures', dunking Cheetos in water to try to make them go down faster...it didn't help. The M&M's also seemed to give our champ hallucinations. We expected TARP assistance, and got none. In the end, the apple pie was too much. Our hero left 6 snacks on the table:
Nature Valley - Peanut Butter Granola Bars
Knott's Rasberry Cookies
Combos - Pizza Flavor"
Earlier: More From The Front Lines