11:55: 5 minutes to show time. While we wait:
(I have it on good authority that Griffin and Soros have rehearsed the above moves and will be performing at intermission.)
12:00: Soros: "There was a defect in the system."
Soros IS HAWKING HIS BOOK (on sale now).
12:09: Jim Simons: "We don't trade those alphabet soup things George was just referring to."
"Transparency to certain regulators can be helpful."
"Too much disclosure could do more harm than good. Why don't you just force us to disclose our entire trading strategy while we're at it?"
Simons, perhaps under the impression that he's in the TARP hearing, suggests that the solution to the problem we're in is too keep people in their homes.
12:15: Paulson's lack of a reaction to Waxman asking him to press the button on his mic was much appreciated.
12:22: Because Falcone is giving us his life's story, and mentions his wife, I will post a picture of Lisa "Dime Piece" Falcone now:
12:30: Ken Griffin: "The creation of central clearing houses for credit default swaps represents a straight forward solution."
"Unleash opportunities, do not limit possibilities."
12:36: Simons is talking, Waxman interrupts to ask, "is your mic on?" "Yeah, it is."
12:36: Waxman asks mic question of Paulson as well. Do you hear them talking fuck stick? THEN IT'S ON.
12:38: Paulson thinks equity requirements of financial institutions needs to be raised.
Problems have been with investment banks, not hedge funds. "Not one dollar of your little bailout has gone toward hedge funds."
12:42: Griffin doesn't want more regulation of hedge funds. "To be very clear: We're gone through a financial tsunami in the past few weeks and it's been the fault of the regulated institutions. Hedge funds have not been a focal point of carnage."
Waxman has no questions prepared besides 'is your mic on?'
12:45: Warren Buffett and Whitney Houston doppelgangers are sitting behind Griffin.
12:52: Paulson wants caps on executive compensation at banks.
12:52: Simons: "Something has to be done about this paper. Nobody knows what it's worth." Over under 'til Waxman asks him if is mic on is being set at 5 minutes.
12:57: Some representative wants to know how it is that these guys knew what they knew before everyone else. Thinking the answers starts with a 'B' and ends with a 'ecause they're fucking smarter than you, Simpleton."
1:04: Simons: "The funds that we operate don't require wisdom...we're not affected by the rises and falls in the market. One fund is but it's still beat the market and that makes our investors happy."
1:06: Rep. Souder: "I understand this is a financial hearing but Mr. Soros, I just want to say that I've had deep disagreements with the heroine needle exchange program and your advocacy of your backdoor legalization of marijuana. Your intervention in the drug area has been appalling. I hope you reevaluate where you put your money."