You Better Ask Your Father

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We can think of few rituals less desirable than appealing to a Swiss parent (or regulator) for money. Perhaps anesthetic-less amputation in a jungle field hospital, or clinical trials for hemorrhagic fever vaccines might qualify. So we do not much envy UBS, which, after a difficult year or two, has to come begging Swiss authorities (specifically, the Swiss Federal Banking Commission- and more humorless gaggle of grumps you are unlikely ever to meet) to approve 2008 bonuses.
Here is a pair of words that should strike cold fear into the hearts of the most jaded bankers. "Absolutely necessary."
Don't worry, though he sucked in CHF 130+ million in the last seven years, Marcel Ospel, former Chairman and CEO, didn't get a bonus for 2007. Fair's fair.
UBS Bonuses Will Need Regulator's Approval After Aid Package [Bloomberg]

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Do You Let Your Watch Talk For You?

And if so, do want to wear one that says "I love UBS and I don't care who knows it" but unfortunately do not work for the bank and therefore were not given a timepiece that says just that? Do not despair. You, too, can now own Swatch watch that was specially commissioned to commemorate UBS's 150th birthday, provided you beat out all the other guys and girls who want a piece of it. Swatch Irony UBS Limited Edition - YCZ4001 - New for 2012 [eBay]