A Little Perspective

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Dec 15, 2008

I know we all have our collective panties in a bunch over the Ponzi scheme du jour but there are bigger issues on hand, and you god damn well know it. The fact that we've been going on and on and on about the so-called Madoff "victims" while the biggest victim of all suffers, about to stand trial, not knowing what his fate will be is truly sickening. And completely unmelodramatically, makes me lose all faith in humanity. As coincidence has it, he, like those with whom Madoff made off, is a Jew. That's really neither here nor there as it relates to this particular struggle, but I just thought I'd mention so we're clear that this man, this saint, is no stranger to strife, whether or not you people can get it up to care.

I'm speaking of Steve Cohen, of course, and his ongoing struggle to add a measly few feet to his remarkably restrained in size Greenwich home. It seems last month's presentation to the town Planning and Zoning Commission to plead the big guy's case was postponed. It is unclear why (anti-Semitism), though the not so silent adversity from people wanting to begrudge the BG of a little happiness in the form of what we hear is a room devoted exclusively to the playing of Candyland is both palpable and saddening, especially since it's been whispered that the BG was planning on inviting employees, both vital and expendable* over to play in lieu of bonuses this year. For their sakes and his, we hope that tomorrow, someone in Greenwich has a heart.

Earlier: Fat, Idle Fingers Are The Devil's Workshop
*more on this later!

From time to time around these parts, when things get particularly rough, we like to take a few moments to get a little perspective. Yes, you could be facing a significantly reduced bonus. Yes, you could be facing layoffs. Yes, you could be facing a class-action lawsuit by your investors, not to mention first-degree murder charges. But you're not this guy and for that you should be thankful. Patrick Gallagher, of Lansdale, Penn., has filed a $50,000 lawsuit against the Philadelphia-area Penthouse Club claiming a stripper injured him so severely during an on-stage dance that he was left with internal bleeding from a ruptured bladder. Gallagher’s friends had gone all-out for his bachelor party back in 2010, getting him the “bachelor’s package” which included a special performance from a stripper. During the dance, Gallagher was laying flat on the stage when a stripper slid down a pole “with such force” that she ruptured his bladder upon landing, the lawsuit said. His lawyer, Neil T. Murray, said the woman came from a “great height.” After the hard stripper landing, the injured soon-to-be groom called it a night. The next morning he went to the hospital where he was advised of his injuries and underwent surgery, the lawsuit said. Gallagher also says he suffered nerve damage to his back and hip. Pennsylvania man sues strip club, claims he was severely injured by dancer

December 7, 1941. November 22, 1963. December 4, 2009. All dates of such historical and cultural significance that if you asked someone where they were that day, they'd surely be able to tell you. Because they weren't just any old days; they were moments when everything changed. The bombing of Pearl Harbor; the assassination of JFK; and, perhaps most importantly, the firing of Jeffrey Gundlach from the TWC Group, which had taken issue with his decision to start his own firm, and choose to express that anger by first escorting him out of the building and second raiding his offices, where they found an amount of adult films and sexual devices that suggested Gundlach was operating an online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at work. TCW also sued its former employee and at the time, rather than roll over and take it which is something he would never do, Gundlach vowed to fight back and clear up the misconception that TCW was the victim in the situation. On the contrary, JG told people, the real victim was US taxpayers who were "promised" Gundlach's services and had to settled for a subpar bond manager when his relationship with the firm was terminated. Gundlach ultimately emerged victorious* and perhaps even more satisfying to The Pope was the number of TCW employees and clients who followed him en masse to his new company, the aptly named DoubleLine Capital. We're not sure how you celebrated last night's hugely significant anniversary, but we do know how Gundlach did:

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