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Bernie Madoff's Next Move

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It's been nearly a week since Bernie Madoff admitted to some minor accounting issues at his firm, Madoff Investment Securities. It probably seemed like a good idea at the moment, since (hopefully) in doing so he'll spare the younger Madoff generation from going to prison, which this fish will be relieved to hear. But in that time he's incurred the wrath of every Jew in New York and Palm Beach, including Steven Spielberg, fueled speculation that he in fact bears foreskin, and apparently finished the job that a certain mustachioed Austrian could not. And he's most definitely going to have to shoulder the guilt of every paper cut this guy sustains. The only thing that's consoled Big B while he remains holed up in his 64th Street apartment (stop by) are his cigars and wife (the mastermind of this whole thing?). And neither the cigars nor the wife will be available in high supply during his stay in prison. Clearly Berns has realized this, just like he's also realized that old men don't do so well in the big house. So.

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For the ignorant: Sam Israel .