Bring Us The Bodies

Author:
Updated:
Original:

U.S. District Judge Louis L. Stanton signed an order last night requiring Bernie-boy Madoff to provide a list of his assets and liabilities by the end of the year, which will be helpful in assessing who does and does not deserve sympathy cards with regard to rectal prolapse. And speaking of the now destitute individuals of Adolf's world? Some are taking it better than others! Although his Fairfield Greenwich Group had its ass torn out of the revelation that Madoff's biz was a Ponz, Walter Noel is apparently still living it up, in velvet dinner jackets, no less. So that's nice. Unfortunately, then we have killjoy Ezra Merkin, liquidating his Gabriel Capital LP:

Suspending withdrawals and selling remaining assets is the fund's "only realistic option" after losing 39 percent this year through Nov. 30, Merkin said in a Dec. 18 letter to
clients. The process will take several years to complete because
the assets are illiquid, Merkin wrote.
Merkin's New York-based Gabriel Capital and Ascot Partners LP were sued this week for investing with Madoff. The investors in a class-action suit say Merkin misled them by them by claiming he put their money in a "diverse portfolio of securities." Ascot lost virtually all of its $1.8 billion of assets, according to a separate lawsuit.
"You and I, in common with so many people we know, have lost unimaginable amounts as a result of this massive fraud," Merkin wrote in the letter, a copy of which was obtained by
Bloomberg News. "We are all suffering deep wounds, emotional as well as financial, and they are exceedingly painful."

Related