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I Love You, Honey- Now About That Tender Offer...

"You know I love you, so just stop it. How about you just tell me about your day at the office? Anything interesting happening? Anything at all? Video games, isn't that what you were talking about last week? How's that going. What? No, no reason. I just like to be a part of your life. You know, I like to be included. I like to, feel involved. What? No, who would I talk to? Secret, yes, I know. I know. Who would I tell anyhow? What? Maria? Maria who? Oh... her. Right. She was in Playboy? No! Get out! What do you mean? I had no idea. I swear. Well, I have lots of people's numbers in my cellphone. I have Dick Fuld's number in my cellphone, you think I'm sleeping with him too? Right. Ok then. So. Video games. What? No, I told you, I'm trying to be involved in your life. Wasn't it just last month you were complaining about how distant I was? Well, this isn't distant. This is close. I want to be close to you. Close to everything. Close to your work. Your deals. Your briefcase. You know. What? Of course I love you. You are my golden goo- er... my gorgeous girl."
'Golden Goose' & The Pinup [The New York Post]


"I WILL F*CKING ASSAULT YOU": Sorority Girl Offers Wall Street A Clinic In Motivating People

If Tommy "I will run you over in the street" Belesis ever beats those fraud charges, the first thing he does is contact the writer of this letter to sign up for a 2-week intensive course that involves shadowing the master around campus (there is much to learn). The rest of you: take notes.