Jamie Dimon: Banks Must Stop Enabling Junkie Whores, Prepare For Tough '09

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CNBC's Erin Burnett is interviewing Jamie Dimon right now at the Waldorf Astoria. So far, according to everyone's favorite boy toy CEO:
- You know this but just to reiterate: JPMorgan "neither asked for nor needed the government's money." Paulson put a gun to JD's head.
- While some banks are hoarding, JPM is "trying to do lending in the right way." As you might've figured out, loaning money to any crack whore who asks for it (Alan Greenspan) is not a good idea. He's still begging for it, that "last" hit, but according to Dimon, "banks have to learn to say no."
- Commercial loan balances are up 18 percent.
- 2009 is going to hurt, (mostly) all due to everyone getting canned.

- Erin: "What else can you predict for the future?"
Dimon: "This is why I hate going on TV, because people ask the same questions over and over."
DB: "Awk."
- Chance of a real depression? "Very, very small."
- Likely due to spilled bong water and roach clips, "Bear is turning out to be much more difficult than we anticipated."


- There will be no JP GoldGan Sachsley: "Doesn't make sense for major investment banks to merge."
- Erin: "So, you wake up in the morning and look at Jamie Dimon in the mirror and--"
Jamie: "I wake up in the morning and look at Becky Quick." Carl is there, too, happily munching on snacks, and Joe Kernan is down on the corner weeping.
- The board "will make the decision on my bonus, hopefully they'll do the right thing." ($100 million. That's right, a unit, baby.)

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