There Are Now Two Things In Greenwich That Are Visible From The Moon

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Hint: neither of them look as good up close as they do far away. You guys can figure out the first one. The second one is the Paul Tudor Jones Light ShowTM, which we checked out last night on the way to my close personal friend SC's house for the first night of Hannukah. Video would've captured the thing better but then you would've heard me mouthing off to the cop and we couldn't have that, so photos it is. Re the blurry ones: apparently a 15,000 bulb Christmas spectacular, synced up to Carol of the Bells, which lights from the bottom of the top and proceeds to flash over and over getting progressively brighter, replete with fake snow and a squadron of local police, much to the chagrin of an otherwise staid gated community is all good, but taking pictures of said display? Verboten. No matter. We'll be back next year, provided the tip we dropped in the suggestion box (Vegas show girls as elves) is at least considered.

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Things Could Be A LOT Better At SAC Capital Right Now

Back in October, we detailed a list of things that, if you are the hedge fund manager who goes by the name Steven A. Cohen, you really don't want to hear first thing in the morning. They included: “The fleeces are on back order”; “Your ex-wife is in the lobby”; “There’s a photographer here who said he’s been authorized to shoot you wearing a king’s robe and crown for a set of playing cards”; “You’ve been outmaneuvered for the Toledo Mud Hens. But I hear the Binghamton Mets may be available.” Today we must update that list to include another thing, perhaps THE thing,* that people delivering news to Cohen don't want to relay. Paraphrasing but any variants on: "Mr. Cohen, we've received a Wells notice and by the way, they're considering naming you personally."