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What I Think My Friend Win Smith Is Trying To Say Is That Stan O'Neal Is A Beautiful Man

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Hey! Were you aware that today is Crazy Merrill Persons Day? Well it is! Earlier we got a taste of shareholder Evelyn Davis's bag of nuts, and now we can all gather round the entrance of the mental hospital to enjoy Win Smith's speech, titled "A Proper Eulogy," because it's normal to treat inanimate objects like humans. Stay tuned post-merger, when Smith et al will regale us with a tutorial in how one performs necrophilia on a public company. This would be our favorite part, but we highly suggest going through the whole thing:

"I stand here today and say shame to both the current as well as the former Directors who allowed this former CEO to wreak havoc on this great company.
Shame on them for allowing this former CEO to consciously and openly disparage Mother Merrill, throw our founding principles down a flight of stairs and tear out the soul of the firm."

A Proper Eulogy [PDF]