So, you know how everyone is all demanding of apologies from our inept CEOs and whatnot? Obviously they're pretty much SOL. But you know what I kind of feel like would be even better than a sincere apology for supposed wrong doings? A series of dog and pony shows modeled after that of the Juice. It took several murders and a bunch of armed robberies to get us here but above we have a fairly glorious faupology from OJ Simpson, who just got 15 years in prison. The big guy breaks out all the stops, including fake near tears and the truly awesome argument that "I didn't want to hurt any of these guys...they've eaten in my home, I've done book reports with their kids, I've sung to their mothers when they were sick, I just wanted my stuff back...I didn't know I was doing anything illegal, I thought I was just confronting friends and retrieving my property."
Before He Goes to Prison: O.J. Is Very, Very Sorry [Gawker]