So these quotes sound made up but, per the Post, sources claim that Bernie Madoff has been complaining about the stringent terms of his house arrest at 133 East 64th Street. Supposedly the Ponz. Master has been telling anyone who'll listen "I can't go anywhere! I'm stuck here all day!" My fave gripe is probably the one about how it's not fair that he can't even run to the corner deli for something to nosh on. But it gets worse. The problem solvers in the group will likely suggest that there's nothing left to do but JO&C with a little YouPorn to pass the time but he can't even do that. Private contractors are apparently installing wiretaps on the penthouse's phones and computers, meaning, as a person close to the situation points out, "If he surfs the Web...it's going to be tracked."